do you really ? ;

darrrrrrrrrnn . today is one of the worst band practice i've ever had .
our conductress got a little impaitent and fed up with us . and the band really sounds like it's de-proving ! WHAT'S WRONG GUYS! comon !!! don't give up yet okay ? we can do it !!
sigh , so due to the badddddddd and embarassing practice just now , we kana pumping ( push-ups ) .
yeah , we deserve it . i blame myself for not practising hard enough and being so weak in my sight-reading .
MAN , I HAVE MADE A PROMISE TO EVERYONE WHO READS THIS , THE BAND , AND MY SCHOOL , I WILL PROMISE TO PRACTISE REAL HARD AND BE A RESPONSIBLE SENIOR .
yeah , i believe we can do it ((:
sigh , alrights .



i can't believe it , i did the world's stupidiest stuff in the world .
that is to , slit my hands .
DUMB CHRISTINA , WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ?!
yeah man , i apologise to all my friends , who were concerned just now .
and dumbly and blindly , i go slit twice again in class . omg , i'm such a sick psyho .
damnit , i'm so depressed .
i laugh like crazy because i need to let out my stress .
HAH , whatever .
that dumb ass , tell him come for band don't want to . ta ma de , you serious about band at all ? . i'm so freaking disappointed in you . AND ARE YOU SERIOUS ABOUT ME AT ALL ? tamade , i feel like some dumb ass standing on that very thin line , wating for you to hold me back , i post here also no use , cuz you won't read .
ugggh ,, whatever . it's all crap i'm talking
i sms you didn't reply,
YOU ONLINE AND YOU DIDN'T TALK TO ME .
wtf , i'm so sick .
i need your concern , but you didn't show me any.
are you indicating ?
WHATEVER , I SHAN'T CARE .
i still love you , i'll stand there till the time you hold me back .
please talk to me ?.

i slash because i want you to be concerned.
but you didn't see it i guess , must i slit more so that you'll notice ?


xoxotina