BLOOD

oh yeah! i fucking million yays because there's no school tomorrow AND NO MASS RUN AS WELL LAH.
kekekekke.

usual deeds today. watch anime and more anime. gosh, i really wonder if sitting on the chair too long will make my ass BIGGER.
hope it doesn't happen to me, HAH.

anyways, feeling rather.. down and depressed too.
i don't know why.
i just want to be.. loved and to love again..
but not just anyone else, i just want him.
sigh, i guess i've been a bad bad girl. that explains all the torment and pain i'm going through now. i also realised i've changed to become a rather petty person. not just towards my parents, also towards my friends and i feel like so fucking bad lah.

i now wish for something that everyone detest,
that is,


loneliness.

actually, i'm rather weird too.
well, i seriously think alot. you can say i'm sensitive too. sensitive to almost anything.
even maybe little stuff that happen.

i've thought it over,
if i could really be alone in my own personal world,
this world will be beautiful with nature and only has two seasons, autumn and winter (: .
the deep blue sea that stretches towards the horizon and the yellow-orange bright sun that keep me warm during winter.
blossom petals and falling leaves from branches of tall, bulit trees along the road.
my own three-room house with glass ceiling, so i can see the stars or count them to sleep when i'm having sleepless night.
even if it means to live alone,
as long as i'm contented to be on this world, which seems too real to be true,
i want to be lonely.

no love, no hatred, no sadness, no pain,
that's my paradise.
perhaps, even now, i feel the pain,
that's because i love him still.

come to think of it,
i'm really STUPID to pray for hopes to make up
even after the goodbye.

i shan't use the word foolish on me cos, i AM STUPID.

i just feel like, escaping from home.
i don't want to face my family..
sorry.
sorry i'm like this.

oh, tomorrow's my brother birthday.
gomenasai.
i didn't get you a present again.


<3Minako.