a million needles

Ok. It's over my limits.
Seriously, it's over my limits.
There are so many times I just want to blog everything, that including details, out but I stopped myself because I know nobody'll like that. I don't want to bother my friends, I don't want to worry them, and I dont want to burden them either.
But just let me post this,
this will be the first and the last.

I told you I dont want you to call. Can you understand? I wnat to fucking get over you. You know that, but you're constricting me. Yea, I was half-consious when I picked up t phone. When I realised that it was you, it's like "Oh fucking shit." Then you were like, "Why didnt you pick up my calls the few days back?"
Seriously? Must I? I dont want to hear your voice, and I want to get out of your friggin life, get? But Im glad I picked up just now, now that you're leading a joyous time of your life, I could just move on with no strings attached anymore.

Don't ask me why can't I just treat you as a friend. Fucking cb you think it's that simple? Hohoh, sorry, I forgot that you moved on so yea, maybe it was THAT simple to you. HAHAHAHA!

Maybe all those words like, "I really love you.", or "I care but show it in a different way." are just empty words. How much of an idiot would believe that?
Oh nos, ME. Even a 5 year old kid could figure you're lying through your teeth but I guess love is blind. Wait, love IS blind holy sneezle.

THE WORST THING I CANT STAND IS THAT YOU COULD STILL TALK TO ME NORMALLY ON THE PHONE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED! WOW I APPLAUD YOU WEET WEET1!! I GUESS I JUST DONT MATTER AT ALL. YOU JUST THINK YOU COULD DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, DISREGARDING MY FEELINGS. YAH, WHY DID YOU CALLED WHEN YOU WERE AWFULLY SICK LAST SUN?
WHY? JUST COS YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO CARE, NEEDED SOMEONE TO BE THERE. Then t next few days, boom, you vanished into thin air.
OH NO WAIT, I FORGOT! You called cos you needed me to help you ask about the school fees thing HAHAHAHA. What am I to you really huh? Done using me alr? Done done? Play finish alr? Had your fun alr? Done with your stupid "love tests" with me alr? HAHAHAHAH.
"I really never meant to hurt you." HAHAHAHAAH, classic mofo line.

My dad just came in and saw the lighter on my table. He thought I started smoking -.- But hell no, I found it actually HAHAHAH Then he confiscated it. oh well. I like burning things.

Wokay back to things.
I should have left you that time, but you asked me not to. I fucking regretted giving you a chance. Now all I'm asking, is for you to give me a chance to forget you. I can ignore all the things we used to do, all the bad things you've done, those days when I feel cold and uncared for, the moments we are happy together. I can't forgive you, I'm really fucking broken, no shit, my heart it's gone. Do you understand that feeling? To feel betrayed? By the one you love?

I know in your mind after you read this you're like, I WHERE GOT LIKE THIS LIKE THAT TO YOU!!!!! You might be angry too, but for once, I don't want to care about how YOU'LL feel anymore. I have to be selfish, I'm giving in to you all the time cos of a soft heart and your fucking sweet-talkin.
&you could still be so proud of your new love, sigh, boast to me somemore, so lovestruck huh? HAHAHAHA, pathetic.

What did I do to receive such treatment? And you could still say I didnt treat you good enough? Me? Then what have you done for me? Give and take sucker, you're just taking it all. Taken my heart away and threw it down the drain.

Burnt the movie tickets, deleted your picts, thrown that keychain. Worth nothing anymore, I bet it doesnt to you in the first place.

I'm done, I'm out of here to start afresh.
Hopefully I would forget you when I wake from the hospital bed, like memory loss.

P.S WILL BLOG ABOUT BBQ TMR!!!!!! :D