BLOOD

There are days when I hated you, I hated myself, and I hated us. But those are the days I look back and be thankful that those were what made us stronger, and with every compromise, you changed. It definitely takes time to see it, but I appreciate every step you took to make those changes for me, for us, for this relationship... as you promised. Your faults led me to reflect on mine, because no one is perfect. Our imperfections get laid out as time goes by and we took the time to correct those mistakes together. 

It's funny because, I recall talking about relationship with an ex classmate of mine, he who then had a girlfriend of 2 years. And he said, "We talk on the phone every night.". I was like, "ARE YOU SURE? TALK EVERY NIGHT? FOR TWO STRAIGHT YEARS?", yeah I was that pessimistic about love. Back then I had an boyfriend who well, let's say dropped the constant phone calls and messages after like 2 months of so into the relationship.

Now let me say this, if your guy cuts down any forms of communication with you within months, TALK THINGS OUT OR DUMP. Because I can't emphasis how important communication between two special people are. It connects, recreates and builds understanding. Besides, in you're in love, won't you want to hear their voice? Won't you want to say those three words to let them know that you are thinking about them? Trust me, it makes ANYONE'S day, to hear an "I love you" or "I miss you" from that someone special.

It's great, me and D keeps in touch constantly and talks every night! Not that we are sick of each other (yet? lol), we basically touch on a few topics then make fun of one another till it's time to sleep. And I really cherish the moments D calls me at random times I don't expect him to call at all to ask me what I'm doing, or whether I have eaten etc.. A simple gesture, yet so blessed.

I feel so comfortable around him as well, I can go w/o makeup and he tells me I'm beautiful (of course I'm like, "fuck no you're just saying to make me happy" but im secretly happy inside la aiyah). We tickle, wrestle, burt and fart infront of each other. And the fact that he actually plays along with me believing that our bunny doll is real (make high squeaky noises and kisses it) hahaha :p

He might not be the best, he isn't a romantic guy or a initiative one, but I cherish with all I had and will have with him. I want to believe that this is the one I will spend my whole life with. And somehow, even our paths don't end up together in the future, what I have with you now honey, is special, and definitely irreplaceable. 

I know that a part of me will always, always love you.

I don't know what really spurred me to finally blog about my relationship. I mean it did crossed my mind, but I held back each time. I guess after my thailand trip (5 days pilgrimage to various temples) I was more affirmed and stronger, and even confided in D about something I thought I would have never told anybody to. And it helped me so much, I'm so thankful that he stood by me and it made him understand me better as well. It's great that the ups and downs of the relationship taught us both.. and he was the one who always told me to not give up easily on us. I'm glad you try your best to give in and understand me. I agree do not have the simplest of minds, quite the opposite actually, to the extend whereby I don't even know what I want sometimes. And you know how women complicates stuff....

Looking back and it has been a year and I guess, 3 months? It isn't that long as compared to 2 or 3 or 4 or more... But.. it's our both longest relationships, I guess that's what makes it so special. And I can't wait to look at our future together.. But like I said, if God forbids then, I'll be thankful for the wonderful moments and values that I have come across together with you. 

And most specially, you showed me how it feels to be loved most tenderly.