I want to have the ability to love less.
Or just, stop loving.

Because this insanity is killing me inside out.
I don't want sympathy.

dreams

Been having dreams every night since this week o_o
It was darn enjoyable, like playing some kind of game and I AM THE LEAD CHARACTER. HOHOHOHO, shiok sibo! Got once, I was so into the dream, but I had to wake up cos I have the urgency to visit the loo. So I just got up, did my business, and headed back to bed to continue the dream LMFAO! &yea, it worked, it's like commercial break HAHAHAHAHAHAH.

But last night I had a bad dream ):
Not nightmarish kind, but I was betrayed by my boyfriend, my mum, dad and was embarassed infront of everyone there. So much that my diginity was left of none, so bad that I just tumbled on the floor in that dimension and cried my lungs out, wailing on the phone to my dad, "WHY DID YOU BETRAY ME?! WHY EVEN YOUUUUU?!?!1/!1."
The next thing I know, I woke up.
With neck aches and a bad back sprain -.---------
Imagine I still have to go to work leh! WALUA, until now it still hurts if I make a wrong move...

DAMN.
And the problem with dreams is that you start from NOWHERE. It's like poof! Ok nao I'm a malaysian CIA but a singapore spy in disguise HUAHUAUHHUAHUAHUA ok sorry, I watched Salt like last week ._. Got sequel anot har? It's like Inception, the ending leaves you hanging.

Been seeing people, or young adults to be precise, around me enjoying their life, partying, having all the time in the world until they can put on twitter/fb/any damn networking site that they are fucking bored, shopping, crubbing, chillaxing etc etc
Girls, having manicure, pedicure, dressing up, make up, hair treatments, camwhoring, ladies night, slumber parties, picnics.........

After starting work, it's like time became such a precious thing?
Every extra one hour of sleep also better than none. Ha, even extra 5 mins also good.
And when you're running late, every one minute is like a darn timer bomb ticking.

I just feel like I don't want to waste my life and youth away either.

But I can't currently ):
Maybe after I finish my internship.....
8 more months.

& I really want to be thin.
Why are some people born to be so beautiful and skinny and perfect in this world?
Damn life is so unfair.
AND SO IS LOVE! -.-

I'D BETTER UPGRADE MY COMPUTER SO THAT I CAN PLAY DIABLO III WHEN IT COMES OUT!
oki........ nao to think of it, its as if i have the time to even play.
.......................fffffffffffffff

P.S Been sleeping with my mum since monday. But today she shoo-ed me back to my own bedroom ._. I don't dare to sleep alone leh...... ):

yknow, its not very nice to just go behind someone's back and say something when you cant even approach the person your ownself to seek the truth.
what's worst is like you can pretend like nothing happened.

im just sayin'. :)
what goes around, comes around.

hi.
if i open my heart to you, it'll all be questions.
the answers will be a rest to my heart at least.
even if its bad.

oh! started working @ the night safari :>
everything's good ~
but i'd still get worn out even if its 8 hours every day. :/
and i do not like that ._.
i want to be like a working machine
but not one w/o life
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH SUCKAssssssssssssssssss!!

:(
i just missed seeing Tokio Hotel yesterday...........
I KNOW BILL KAULITZ IS FUCKING HOT!!!!!!!!!!!! I KOW!!!!!!!1
HE'S MINE OKI!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!

Oh well, two more days to off day! :D

I suay like laosai!
I ordered stuff online and NONE OF THEM REACHED ME!!
Like they are wayyyy overdue their mailing date alr.
Emailed to t person in charge and they said they'll check and get back to me.
Now this sucks, because I'll never know if they would.
I feel so cheated.... :(
I was expecting the 2 items to come cos I had them under registered postage. The other one (another site) was under norm postage cos I had previous transactions with this online blog and it went well. But I guess not this time :(
It was a bag. Shit, I need a goddamn casual ladies bag. I've curb my urges to buy those bags I've seen @ TopShop or F21 cos they are so FUCKING EXPENSIVE and slightly unworthy of their prices......... but owell.

:( I will tell myself never to online shop EVER cos I'm always getting cheated PLUS you have to wait for 2-4 weeks esp for preorders and the suckiest part is NOT RECEIVING ANYTHING after they confirm an email with you saying that they will send out the items on XX date.
It's like kena feeling cheated and toyed with can! LOL.
Haisssssss,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but all the good things are always onlineeeeee :(((((


okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk bye!
sorry that this is just a.... boring post.

Ventured far to deep,
I think I lost myself.

OMGGGGGGG !

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh!!!!1
I WANNA GO TO SINGFEST, BUT THE ONLY REASON FOR ME TO IS JUST COS OF TOKIO HOTEL!
I DONT WANT TO SEE NO WONDER GIRLS OR KATY BOOBY PERRY -.-
&&&& GUESS WHAT!!!!!!!!! TOKIO HOTEL IS COMING DOWN TO BUGIS JUNCTION NEXT WEDNESDAY AND THEY R GUNNA AUTOGRAPH THEIR SPECIAL COLLECTION OF THE HUMANOID ALBUM!!!!
I DONT KNOW WHETHER TO BE SAD OR HAPPY! (: :):(::(:(:(:<>:(

JUST HOLD YOUR OWN CONCERT IN SG TOKIO HOTEL!
I'll BE SO FUCKING THERE!!!!!!!!!!1111

Gosh.. Yknow,
I wished I was born as the opposite sex.

no matter what happens, i'll still lose.
i need to get a grip of myself.

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey

OMG! Went out with Cherylalala and Sammie ;3 !
We had yummy Yoshinoya for late lunch (Which I havent had for like, MONTHS WTF@#$@#$324) and Japanese Gelato ice cream yumymumyumyum the one at Taka's basement hehehe.
We went for a shopping spreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I swear I was the happiest girl HWAHWAHWA, just that I contained my excitement. x)
THANK GOD there's still some sales going on. I FINALLY STEPPED INTO TOPSHOP OH MY GOD. many good stuff are gone alr I bet ): I bought some stuff tho!

I set aside an amount of money when I got my salary allowance to my parents so that they will safekeep it for me! And that way, I won't spend ALL my allowance and feel like shit when I go broke. I got some stuff online too cant wait for them to arrive! WAHAHAH shopping does make me happy, (when I can afford to!)

Oh! This is gonna be my last week working at my current location niao, another reason why I'm feeling so happy yippee. & after a week's break, I'm gonna work at the restaurant located in the Singapore Zoological Gardens.
Yea, it's a pretty big step. It's not like I'm totally unhappy with where I'm at now, but I know I'll be sooooo much happier there.

YEA! I can't wait for this week to be so freaking over. Cos Cheryl and I were planning so much for next week's outing AND I WANNA MEET ALL MY GIRLSSSSS TOO!!!!!!!
Hehehe eggcited!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTT
I finally feel like I'm gonna have a piece of my life back.
Thank God.

Night owls and stars! *_*

P.S Went KTV with the girls last mon and we celebrated birthdays! x)




So adorable! I lurve yall!

countdown: 5 fucking days FUCK YEAAAA?

Giving up on love.

I don’t believe in love anymore. I once was love’s biggest fan. I loved love. I believed in love at first sight, true love, soul mate, all that mushy-gushy stuff the best songs and books are written about. It’s what every little girl dreams about. One day my prince will come….blah blah blah. I used to believe in love. I was in love, like I’m talking head over heals, stars in your eyes in L-O-V-E. I loved you with all my heart even though I knew you weren’t perfect. You were always more sure about us. Then we broke up. I still loved you, you said you loved me too. But you got with someone else. I was mad at you. I hated you. I still hate you. You left me hanging, all by myself while you frolicked with her. It doesn’t matter now that you regret everything, if you still have feelings for me. You turned my heart into stone, you made me bitter towards love. I don’t think I’ll be able to love again for a very long time. You walked out on me when I needed you the most. You said forever, but you got with her the moment you were free. I’m just sorry we couldn’t keep our promises. It’s a shame that I don’t believe in love anymore. Because if you don’t believe in love there is nothing to cry about, and I don’t have anymore tears to cry. I gave up on love because it gave up on me.

jaiheartsyou.tumblr.com