No matter how strong you try to be, no matter how many walls you tried to build..
There will always be a soft spot.
So here I am, feeling vulnerable and lost.
If I could have a wish for this coming 2011,
it would be to find back my lost self.

I'm wrong, I know I am wrong.
I'm a thief.

i stopped drawinggggggggggggggggggggggggggg
im like stuck
i need inspiration!!!!!!!!!
maybe im just too distracted in life.... omg.
>:(

*

我不是真正的快乐。
merry christmas.

I need to be stick thin.
From now on, Im trying that "no food after 8pm" policy and see how it goes.
Any snacks equal fruits tan pei ching.

losing my self-confidence againnnnnnn.......



Replaying MCR DANGER DAYS: THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS KILLJOYS over and overrr
THEY MUST COME TO SINGAPOREEEEEE
hahahahahaha.

wait, how long have I been NOT updating?
bah.

Out to all those who feels like they want to give up on life,
you DESERVE to live on and outcome those obstancles to a better you. :)

I'm all hyped to get started on a portfolio although I have millions of doubts for the guidelines given. Im gonna get all the materials on Mon (I even don't have a proper pencil hehhhhhhhhh) and shall meet up with my girlssssss and prolly the band geeko dudes too HAHAHAaaaaa i miss em allll!

While I was on the MRT today, there's this scruffy wired hair guy beside me sketching somethin. Had a glance, and he was sketching hands, one on top of the other. He must be a pro, it was realistic and it kind of ..... well, make me doubt myself......
But owell, I'm giving it a go. Pops said he will support me if I can get in.
So, I'll try my best to! WHAT THE FUCK?
I mean, I WILL GIVE MY BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111

Oh, going to Chiangrai for Loy Krathong next sat! :>
I MISS EVERYTHING THEREEEEEEEEEE.


Sigh.

Oh shiat I didn't know planning for my future was gonna be so hard.
I wanted to actually continue my career as a chef at where I was now,
but my naggy boyfee wants me to continue studying so that I will have a brighter future .________.
Yea, thinking about it, it's kind of true. So I'm planning to work part-time and study at the same time, cos at this raw age of 18, and 19 next frigging year, I can't be using my parent's money........ I need to be independant.
&yeah, I'm planning to enter Lasalle ...... what the balls the fees are making me dizzy. I've been saving up to contribute part of the fees but it's so much I don't even think it's 1/3 of the full fees......... gonna burn a fucking big hole on my dad's pocket.... sigh.. THE FEES ARE MAKING ME RECONSIDER!
But...... if not, I won't know where else I wanna go and what else I wanna do :/

Haiyaaaaaaaa time for work..
Bye!

I can't answer those questions.
As to why did I.
Maybe I was immature. But immaturity has nothing to do with it.
Immaturity has nothing to do with making one fall in love.
You fall in love by chance, not by choice.
We all fall in love in the most unexpected ways.

Sometimes we fall in love with the wrong person.
Yes, and from the start we know we shouldn't had make it happen.
But still, how could I.... just ignore everything.
Words all make it seem so easy, but could you just tell your heart not to fucking feel? I doubt so. I really doubt so.

Honestly, I don't know what I should do right now.
Don't tell me to give it all up because that's not something I can really do right now. Don't ask me not to think anymore, because I CAN'T.
Maybe I'm just a shitty person like that, I think of all the negative things.
Even the positive can't outdo the latter.

What the fuck is wrong with me?
I want to be happy.

How do I get out of this pithole again.... ?
How do I convince myself not to fall too deep.. How can you make your heart do the opposite?

Then again, yea. Maybe it was all my fault for not being able to lie to myself that it's not possible.

Haha fuck my life.

It's starting to get to a point where I really like you alot and I'm afraid I'll fall deeper.



What the hell am I saying?

So this is what I've been up to lately, birthday celebrations LOLLLLL
My colleagues are all karaoke kings and queens.










Hell yeah I love this bunch of awesome people :)
There's going to be a third one next two weeks! @_@
Gonna drink, sing and dance till we drop!
Hehe!